There are thousands of euphemisms for sex and without heading into gross territory, in general society sex is an accepted topic of conversation. As long as it isn’t specific or about your parents, but this week I heard a new concept and one that I am scared to admit may be true. This ‘bloke’ said it was good to ‘ride a fat chick every now and then. They go off in the sack cause they never know if they are going to get another one.” Now to some people this is apparently not a new concept. Not only have they heard it before but they know people who have said it.
My problem is that while on first thought about that statement, I was appalled that a tiny dick man thought sexual prowess had anything to do with his version of a pity shag but on second consideration – worse – what if he was right?
When being alone in your bed at night time, a well-rounded single girl has time to think. And if it could have been thought then I had definitely thunk it. So in the overwhelming hours that are between 11pm and 6.30am the following justifications were pontificated.
- Said Tiny Dick Man is too brain dead to consider that the ‘fat chick’ he had ‘ridden’ was actually just good in bed and knew what she was doing contrary to belief that she never gets any.
- Said ‘fat chick’ was actually quite into Tiny Dick Man (poor girl) and gave it everything she had to keep TDM around… or
- Said ‘fat chick’ was so toey she didn’t care all that much about TDM and got what she wanted to satisfy herself.
I kept coming back to point three… not my favourite, at all but one that I can’t help but identify with at the moment. I tell myself that I am not having sex at the moment because I am over the one night relationships I perfected in my mid 20s. (Not that I perfected all that many but…) But is the real reason because I just can’t get any?
It was a question I didn’t feel was fair to ask just myself. Was anyone getting any at the moment? So on many a conversation with a bottle of wine and a packet of Twisties with my single girlfriends the following was found.
- Only my friends in some resemblance of a relationship are having any sex
- My single girlfriends – skinny and otherwise – are telling themselves that they have chosen a life of no sex because of they sick of compensating TDMs
So it must be said that this random sex thing about riding a fat one every now and then is obviously not happening to women in their late 20s and early 30s. While that made me sleep better it did make me realise one thing.
Tiny Dick Men who say stupid and unfounded statements may need to address the fact that it may not be them who are feeling the pity.
life in big frilly knickers 