2014. The year of the band aid. I’ve made a conscious decision not to put off things that I normally put off. This year, they going to happen like ripping off a band aid. That slight awkwardness and anxiety of upcoming pain followed by a slight lift at the edge, then, tear it. Fast. All the way off. It may hurt, be uncomfortable or leave a sticky residue but in the end, it will at the least have happened and be out in the open.
Band Aid #1: Dating. It’s come to my attention that I haven’t actually been on a date in my thirty-three years of existence. I have never been picked up, asked out, taken out by someone with the view to forming a relationship beyond friendship. That is going to change this year. It’s definitely going to be uncomfortable, its definitely going to be awkward and probably even painful, but I am determined to make it happen. To make it happen, there will need to be strategies, there will need to be a plan and most likely, none of it will work.
Strategy 1: Online Dating. While it’s not dating in real life, it may lead to one. I’ve tried it once and it went badly. Lots of ‘talking’ online with not a lot of real life talking. A couple of very awkward meetings out but very little meeting of like minded people. Since entering back into the world of online dating it’s again been awkward. Sneaking looks at people’s profiles, waiting to see if anyone out there in cyber world has said they ‘like’ you and wondering why the 15 000 000 other people on the site worldwide haven’t added you. You spend time flicking through the pictures dumbfounded by the men who take photos of themselves in the gym, in their underwear, pouting in selfies or with jeans and sneakers on. You then spend the rest of the time silently cursing the same men for being so harsh and judging your own profile photos and not taking the time to ‘know’ you.
I’ve been putting the online thing off for so long. A few of the nearest and dearest have mentioned online dating this month and when I was asked why wouldn’t I, it used to be hard to answer. But last week the answer came to me and it really was quite simple. I look bad on paper. When asked to describe yourself, most people want to know generic information. How old are you? What do you do? What do you look like? When I answer it on paper, I am and almost middle aged, roundish English teacher who wears glasses and cardigans. While all of that information is true, I desperately hope it’s not the way that the people who love me and know me would actually describe me. So it’s up, it’s out there and I am considering that action the corner of the band aid peeled. When I get to rip it off, I’ll let you know.
Strategy #2: Speed Dating. I know I said I’d never go again, but I promise to say yes when someone asks me. Even if it is only once more.
Strategy #3: Hang out in Cafe on 3. At work there is a cafe on level 3. It is for hospital staff only. I am going to hang out there at least twice a week. It may take a little bit more of the dollars out of my budget to buy my lunch but there are doctors, nurses, physios, radiologists, damn it, there are wardsmen, cleaners, janitors and secuirty workers that all buy their lunch in the one spot. So I will sit on the sweaty plastic chairs at least twice a week to eat pre-made sandwiches and drink scalded coffee all in the hope of finding a date.
That’s it, I’m all out of strategies for that band aid. It is still firmly on, but I have picked at the corner and I’ve got another eleven months to rip it off. It’s just a date. They are not strategies to find my baby’s daddy, Prince Charming or spme idealistic version of The One. I just want a date.
There are a number of other band aids flapping around, some still firmly stuck, others flapping almost dangerously close to falling off. I have an email to send, a competition to enter, some shoes to fill, a novel to draft and a holiday to book. That’s a lot of band aids and even more strategies. And I thought finding a date would be the easiest of them? What was I thinking!
life in big frilly knickers 