I like the crazy. The clairvoyant, the cross over, the tarot card readers, angel readers, palmists, all of it. If there was a person who could tell my future by examining the hair that comes out in the shower, I’d go see them.
I don’t care if they are good students of human behaviour and body language, what I do care about is that they confirm my own thoughts, give me ideas and sometimes a different perspective on something I’m stuck on. They are strangers who can say what they feel without investment in my feelings or without knowing the people I care about.
But before that annual excursion to someone whose intuition is trained better than mine, there is the ridiculousness that is New Year’s Resolutions, New Year New Me, Goal Setting for 2018 – whatever trash talk we tell ourselves at the beginning of the year to make ourselves feel better by resolving to become better humans this year.
In this year’s readjustment of human behaviour there are new rules. Rules I’ve set myself after reading only two chapters of a self help book. My second in my entire life and this one is a doozy. It’s called the Queen’s Code. It’s a self help book for women on how to interpret and speak to men. Not necessarily just romantically, just in life in general. This woman says they think differently. Well that’s not a shock and not an earth shattering observation, the fact that I don’t have one is matter of fact proof that I don’t have those language or interpretive dance skills.
But what she does come up with is a few gems that stung a little when I read them. Bee stings that hurt a little longer than I wanted them to, which generally means I’ve stumbled on a way to improve myself. Ugh. Here it goes. Self examination, self flagellation and a scorn of the horrible human I am. I hate this shit.
RULES FOR 2018
1. I will not talk shit about myself. I do this a lot. My self deprecating sense of humour has to die. That may mean this year is about to get awkward. All of those awkward silences I make unawkward because I made a joke about myself – they have to stop. Nobody needs to hear the things I hate about myself, especially me. Even if they are funny.
2. No more comparing myself, or others, to the perfect person. That fucker is a figment of my imagination (and yours) and nobody is ever going to respond to things the way you wish you could and the way you wish others would. It’s dumb. People have a reason for doing things the way that they do, trust them and their reasons and if it really bothers me, I’m just going to woman up and ask them. So if I say to you – “I know you have a good reason for doing that, but I’m struggling to understand it. Can you tell me?”
3. That brings me to 3. I’m going to listen. All of the way to the end. I’m going to try really hard not to interrupt, paraphrase, empathise with my own experience just listen all of the way to the end. Until your done. Yep. I’m going to.
4. When I am hurt, confused, angry because of something that someone has done, I’m going to tell you. That may also call for some awkward 2018 moments but I can’t spend any more of my time wondering why who ever hurt me. Because chances are – they didn’t do it on purpose. Look for the reason and then ask.
That’s it. Four rules. Four things I am going to do – and not do – for ALL of 2018. Well the rest of January anyway. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to make an appointment with a lady to tell me I’m a good human and I’m on the right path and she can tell me all about it through her magic coins. (Not beans – that’s a different story)
life in big frilly knickers 