This is 41 I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before but I don’t know if I’ve ever explained… I struggle with my birthday. Once upon a time birthdays were for drinking and dancing, shoving $20 in your bra and knowing that would be enough to get you home in a cab if it all turned bad. … Continue reading Birthdays
This week I sneezed unexpectedly. You know, one of those sneezes that comes out of nowhere. There wasn't any kind of dust, or invasive snot or twitchy oncoming cold passed on by my favourite germ ridden turdler. None of that, just a normal, out-of-the-blue, sneeze ... and then it happened. A little bit of wee … Continue reading A little bit of wee
What does pickled pork and a day old piece of kabana have in common? I was more nervous about getting nude this morning than I was at the end of the record breaking drought of 2009. (Not to be confused with the drought end of 2020 - shorter in duration but much more traumatic in … Continue reading Disco Kabana and Pickled Pork
My Insta feed is filled with women selling their own versions of self love. Body positive women who scream from every inch of my tiny, tiny screen that every single body is worthy, able to be loved and ‘enough’. I’ve filled my feed with those women on purpose. Littered between whistful, bearded, shirtless men staring … Continue reading How to Love a Walrus
There are days when I hope that I get Covid. I consider driving to the border to cross in the mountains so I’m forced to lock myself away for two weeks in a hotel somewhere. Some days quarantine doesn’t sound like a shit alternative. The monotony of motherhood exists and it’s hard to fathom feeling this way … Continue reading Pining for Quarantine
Dahling, when God put teeth in your mouth, he ruined a perfectly good arsehole.Neil Gaiman It seems like a simple enough concept. And it should be. Simple I mean. But when it comes to dating, it’s not. Arseholes are abound - and they aren’t even always men, they aren’t even always strangers and sometimes they’re not even someone else. … Continue reading Don’t be an arsehole
Online dating helps me meet and break up with someone without leaving the house.Someone on Google. Dating as a mum is hard. Dating as a solo mum of a toddler is nearly fucking impossible. Nearly. Having time to yourself as a solo mum is rare. Not, like strawberries out of season rare, we are talking hen’s teeth, … Continue reading Mum Dating
I am very confused, a little lost and am not sure when it happened. Somewhere I became a grown up and I am not very sure that I like it very much. In between a missed cab from the valley and putting my screaming turdler to bed tonight, I somehow missed something and came upon … Continue reading Waking up old
People, the elusive they of the world, assume that the ‘difficult’ return to work for mothers has to do with the guilt of leaving their offspring in the care of others. And while parental guilt is a real thing that’s so much bigger than I ever thought it could be, it wasn’t the killer for … Continue reading Return to Work
I fucking love a biscuit. Monte Carlo, Kingston, Tim Tam ... let's be honest, I'd walk over my kid to get to a half-eaten Scotch Finger. They have been my downfall since I learned that butter and Vegemite goes on a Milk Arrowroot. Today I had my last biscuit. And it's the third day in … Continue reading The Last Biscuit
life in big frilly knickers 